{"id":1435,"date":"2019-09-01T01:28:21","date_gmt":"2019-09-01T01:28:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/?p=1435"},"modified":"2019-08-30T19:33:01","modified_gmt":"2019-08-30T19:33:01","slug":"another-star-is-born-by-james-barr","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/2019\/09\/01\/another-star-is-born-by-james-barr\/","title":{"rendered":"Another Star is Born by James Barr"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

James Barr is a freelance writer who created TV commercials, radio spots and ads for a variety of clients. He now loves writing these stories without a client peering over his shoulder or trying to fit 60 seconds of copy into a 30-second spot. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n


Another Star is Born<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All Andy wanted was a quiet night at the movies. But you\ndon\u2019t always get what you want. Instead, what Andy got was a starring role in\nan acrobatic drama played out in front of a packed house. Andy also had no idea\nthat the lady with the long blond hair seated in front of him, a complete\nstranger, would become his unwilling co-star.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On that fateful night after work, Andy stopped into the\nlocal cinema to see the latest hit. The theater was packed. With a long movie\nahead of him, Andy hit the men\u2019s room, and then stopped for the requisite tub\nof popcorn. All this made him late to the darkened, crowded auditorium.\nCrawling slowly down the main aisle toward the silver screen, Andy was almost\nto the very first row before he spotted a seat. Of course, it was\ninconveniently located in the middle of a very long row.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So Andy began doing the familiar stooped, slow motion\nsideways crablike shuffle to his seat. Along the way, juggling the overfilled\ntub, Andy dribbled fresh, hot buttered popcorn down the backs of people in the\nfirst row. Finally reaching his seat and just before he sat, Andy realized his\nfly was open. Somehow, with the tub now under his arm, Andy did a quick zip and\nbegan to sit, spilling even more popcorn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just then, the woman in front of him screamed and jerked her\nhead back. It seems a long strand of her hair had become entangled in Andy\u2019s\nzipper as he tried to zip it shut. The plot thickened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trapped in this frozen moment, the two unwilling co-stars\npaused in what appeared to be a very bad yoga pose. The woman\u2019s head was tilted\ntoward the ceiling. Andy was locked in a half seated position, not wanting to\nactually sit and risk pulling out half of his co-star\u2019s hair. The house lights\ncame on. Ushers rushed from every possible door. The audience stood and for a\ntiny moment, the whole world stopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seeing the problem, one of the ushers arrived with scissors,\nbut the woman was adamant. She was not <\/em>having\nany of her hair cut by an usher. Therefore, a slow motion sideways limbo began.\nIn perfect unison, Andy and the entrapped woman slowly shuffled step by step to\nthe aisle, the hair being passed over the lowered heads of a row of seated\nmoviegoers. With each step, the film stars maintained their frozen poses on\ntheir way to the aisle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, they continued their easygoing limbo shuffle up the\nmain aisle, out to the lobby and into the manager\u2019s office. There, someone with\nadroit fingers and arcane zipper knowledge forced the zipper to release most of\nits captured hair. A perfect Hollywood ending.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the police were convinced that there was nothing\ncriminal about this event, the woman returned to her seat while receiving a\nstanding ovation from her loving fans. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Andy, on the other hand, has never been heard from again. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

James Barr is a freelance writer who created TV commercials, radio spots and ads for a variety of clients. He now loves writing these stories without a client peering over his shoulder or trying to fit 60 seconds of copy into a 30-second spot. Another Star is Born All Andy wanted was a quiet night … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa867U-n9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1435"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1437,"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions\/1437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/underwoodpress.com\/ruescribe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}