She never had many possessions,
nice things,to pass on, to give to her children.
no lacey linen,
fine furniture,
shiney silver,
There was only the blue China given to her
like everything in her life was.
The only newness in her life were her children. Our skin
brand new, belonging to her first.
It was the first love we knew.
Love was soft hands holding us gently, as if
we were fragile eggs careful not to break our delicate shell,
we were treasures too precious to name a price.
Holidays we ate at the dining room table.
The blue set looking regal against the white tablecloth.
Everyone and everything looked complete, happy.
No one could tell there were pieces missing.
Not then.
She drank her coffee out of the China blue cup. Stamped blue
houses standing strong against the white back ground. Birds flying in blue clouds
or perched on blue fences. Blue fish jumping in the blue waters. Blue people who looked as if everything they had was brand-new.
Throughout the years they didn’t survive the handling
They shattered on floors, broke in sudsy water.
Frustration and anger flew one plate against the wall
Breaking its pretty blue spine,
pieces
falling
everywhere.
“Watch your step,” mother said.
If only life were that easy, to look for broken pieces
on the ground, a map of painful bits we could hopscotch
our way out.
By the time she died. They were incomplete, orphaned
saucers, cups that had nowhere to stand, chipped plates
to ashamed to show themselves.
My sisters on both ends of my lost home, wrapping,
placing my broken life into boxes. Voices from both ends
of the echoing house panicked and said,
“Be careful, that’s mamas blue cup.”
As if I held mamas delicate bones in my hands
and she’d shatter into pieces on the empty cold floor.
Eileen Patterson was born and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She now resides in Cudahy, Wisconsin and belongs to The Southshore Poets. Along with her fellow poets she has read her poetry at the Cudahy Library several times. She is moved by Anne Sexton, Marge Piercy, Sharon Olds and many more poets.