My name is Hippo. I wasn’t born with that name; I kind of fell into it. Kind of how my sister fell into the name Shark Lady. She’s eight years older than me. Which is pretty old. She just started college, and isn’t home most of the year. But she comes to visit, sometimes. Mainly, she’s only home for the summer. I think she’ll leave for good once college is over. That’s what she yells at mom every time she leaves, anyway. Mom yells back that maybe she’ll leave, too, then. I usually just sit quietly and finish my dinner.
Shark Lady didn’t always yell. She and mom started fighting more once dad died. But since Shark Lady’s been in college, it’s pretty quiet at home. You see, mom’s gone most of the time, too. Sometimes she’ll come home with a new man, but she’s mostly gone. It’s not that bad though. Mom always leaves a frozen dinner in the microwave for me. And I know how to use the microwave. And even though mom and Shark Lady are gone a lot, I still find things to do. I read, and ride my bike, and dig up worms from the mud to try to catch minnows in the creek. Sometimes a stray cat comes by. He’s gray and doesn’t have a tail, but I pet him and give him part of my microwave dinner. I even let him sleep in my bed with me. But I haven’t named him, though. He’s a stray, and has many places to explore. I can’t make him stay by naming him. He never comes by when mom’s here, but he’ll let Shark Lady scratch him behind his ears. Shark Lady says she doesn’t like having a scraggily stray cat around, but I know better. She loves that cat. But even the cat isn’t enough to keep her at home longer.
* * *
It’s nearing the middle of July, but Shark Lady still hasn’t come home for the summer. She finished her first year of college in April. I’d ask mom where she’s at, but mom has been staying out for more than one day at a time now. It happened slowly, with mom being gone for the whole night instead of stumbling home very early in the morning. Then one night turned into a night and a day, then three days, then a week. Even though she’s gone longer than a day, she still only leaves me one microwave dinner. But there are always some cans of vegetables or soup, and I know how to use the microwave.
When a week and a half passes and mom still hasn’t come home, I decide I should probably call Shark Lady. And I’m running low on soup. Shark Lady picks up on the fourth ring. There’s a lot of noise in the background, mostly loud music, but I hear people’s voices too. Shark Lady’s sounds loud and close. “Shit, I dropped the bottle. Ah, dammit! Hello? Who’s calling?”
“Hello. It’s me. Are you there? Mom hasn’t come home yet and I’m almost out of soup.”
“Wait, what? Hippo? Why are you calling? Where’s mom?” Shark Lady’s words are slurred; she sounds tired, but not really.
“Mom’s gone. I’m almost out of soup.”
Shark Lady hiccuped. “She left you alone? How long’s she been gone?”
“A little over a week. Are you drunk? You sound like mom when she comes home late at night. She can’t speak well then either.”
“I’m not…drunk. Where are you? At home? I guess…you can’t stay home alone.”
“Are you coming home? Can you bring some more soup? I can make soup in the microwave. But not in the can. I have to put it in bowl first. It’d be nice to see you again.” It’s a long time before she answers. I twirl the phone cord around my fingers. We still have a corded phone. I think they’re better because you can twirl the cord around your fingers. Can’t do that with a cell phone. “Are you still there?”
“What? Yeah, yeah, still here. Look, stay there. I’ll be home soon. But if mom comes back, call. I don’t need to make the trip for nothing.” I don’t think I am supposed to hear that last part.
“Okay.” I hang up the phone and walk over to the couch to wait.
* * *
It’s a long time before I hear a car pull into our driveway. The slam of the car door startles my sleepiness away. Shark Lady storms up the driveway and to the front door, only she can’t go any further because I locked the door and she can’t find her key.
“Dammit, Hippo. Open up.”
“Mom told me to never leave the door unlocked. That way strangers can’t get in.”
“Seriously? Come on, Hippo, open up! I’ve got a killer headache and I’m not playing games.”
“It’s not a game. It’s Stranger Danger,” I tell her as I open the door. Shark Lady glares at me before she steps inside. She walks around the house, I guess to make sure I wasn’t lying about mom being gone, then flops down on the couch, arm over her eyes. I kneel in front of her.
“Did you bring any soup?” I whisper close to her face. She pushes me away.
“No. I’ll get your soup after I nap. Then I’ll call mom and tell her to get her ass home. Go away and don’t bother me for an hour.”
“Okay.” I go to the front porch and sit on the rocker, cross-legged because it’s more fun that way, and wait for Shark Lady to finish her nap. I don’t think she needs a nap, because naps are for babies, maybe toddlers, but mom takes naps too. Mom says that old people need naps like babies do, so I guess this means that Shark Lady is now old. If it’s true that Shark Lady is now old, then I never want to get old. Neither mom nor Shark Lady are fun anymore. It must be another thing that happens when you get old.
But Shark Lady wasn’t always old and un-fun. We used to play a lot. She first taught me how to find worms to catch minnows in the creek. And she was always good with words, especially when the bully girls down the block came by. She always had a sharp comeback, and those bully girls would run away, not knowing what hit them. That’s where she got her name, because she’s quick and sharp, like a shark. Only she doesn’t eat her victims. The bully girls left me alone after Shark Lady got to them. It was nice when she was around because then I was safe. But then she went to college, started drinking and staying out late, and I wasn’t so safe anymore.
But it’s okay. I stay quiet in class and during recess, and I know a shortcut through the woods to get home after school so the bully girls can’t find me. And it’s good too, because the shortcut passes by the creek, and then I can pull out my tub of worms and catch minnows. I don’t put the minnows in my tub, though. I let them go. My tub is only for worms. It’s a Country Crock butter tub. It’s the best butter tub for holding worms. I don’t recommend any other.
It’s starting to be Fall, so I don’t know how many more times I’ll be able to go to the creek. The minnows don’t like to come out when it’s too cold, and the worms don’t squiggle as much. But that’s okay. When it’s fully Fall, I’ll go out and catch leaves. Shark Lady thinks that catching leaves is stupid, but I think it’s fun. She’d enjoy it if she gave it a chance. It’s pretty easy too. You go out to the woods and watch the trees. When a leaf begins to fall, you run over and catch it before it hits the ground. Mom used to catch leaves with me before she became old and napped all day.
Shark Lady groans from inside and I hear the couch creak as she gets up. She bustles around in the kitchen some before she joins me on the porch. Pulling up another chair, Shark Lady sits, but doesn’t sit cross-legged because she’s not as fun as me.
“Did you make me soup?” She has a mug in her hands, so maybe she has.
“Gosh, stop asking about the damn soup already. How long did you say mom’s been gone?”
“A little more than a week. I only ask about the soup because I want some.”
“Soup later. Did she leave a note, say where she was going?”
“Nope. Just left with some guy.”
“Typical.” Shark Lady sighs and runs a hand through her hair. She takes a sip from her mug and stares off down the yard. I’ve caught her doing that a lot lately. Staring off into space, I mean, not sipping from her mug. Whenever she comes home from college, she and mom usually argue, then Shark Lady sits and stares. I try to make myself scarce whenever they’re in a room together.
“All right.” Shark Lady drains her mug. “Let me get a shower and do some searching.”
“What are you searching for?”
“A phone number or address of whatever man she’s with now, I guess.”
“I thought you were going to call her and tell her to get her ass home.”
Shark Lady squints at me. “I need more coffee.” I follow her as she goes back inside to pour herself another cup. She takes a long drink, then smacks her lips together and grabs the phone, punching in mom’s cell phone number. I jump as I hear a ringing coming from down the hall. Shark Lady gives me a quizzical look as we head towards the sound. I push mom’s bedroom door open to find her phone lying on her nightstand. The shrill ringing stops as Shark Lady hangs up.
“Well, shit.”
“Now what?”
Shark Lady rubs her eyes. “First, I need a shower. Then let’s get you some soup. Then, after that, I’ll try to figure out where mom went.”
* * *
I sit on the couch and watch TV while I wait for Shark Lady to finish. I don’t watch TV much, but sometimes it seems like a good idea. Today there was a marathon of some ghost hunting show on. Sometimes I like to pretend that things like ghosts could be real. That there are things beyond our control or understanding, but that they’re good things. Not like mom’s thing with men. That’s not a good thing, and it is beyond my understanding. But ghosts are good things. They’re not scary, they’re just invisible. Sometimes I pretend I’m invisible like a ghost.
I hear the shower turn off and Shark Lady rummaging around. I shut off the TV and walk down the hall. Shark Lady comes out of her room, toweling off her hair.
“Come on, let’s get you fed.”
In the kitchen, she pulls out the next to last can of tomato soup and puts it on the stove to heat. She still hasn’t gone to the store to get more yet. Her damp hair leaves spots on her shoulders as she leans against the counter. I kick my feet against the rungs of my chair.
“Now what?”
Shark Lady sighs and crosses her arms. “Well, you said mom’s been gone a week right? She never called you or anything?”
“Nope.”
The soup starts to boil. Shark Lady grabs a bowl and spoons some into it for me. Mom used to get my soup for me, before she left. Even when Shark Lady was living at home, she never got my soup for me.
“All right. I suppose I could file a missing person’s report. But she’s probably not far. Might be best just to ask around town.”
I slurp some soup. “Okay. Let me get a jacket.”
“Oh, no. No. You’re not coming.” Shark Lady goes to the living room and grabs her keys. “You stay right here and wait for me to get back.” She opens the door.
I run to the living room with my jacket. “No! You’re not leaving me here. Mom said she’d come back and she hasn’t. You’re not leaving me too.”
Shark Lady stops and stares at me. “Ugh. Fine, all right? Fine. Get in the car.”
I sprint past her before she changes her mind. Shark Lady sighs and slams the front door. She stares at me again as she gets in the car.
“Let’s get something straight,” she says as she points a finger at my face. “You can come with me but you stay in the car. Once we figure out where mom went, we’ll figure out what to do with you.”
“Once we figure out where mom went, we’re going to go get her and bring her home.”
“Maybe.”
“No, we are. She has to come home so she can look after me and you can go back to school.”
“I don’t think she wants to come home, Hippo. She’s never been gone this long before.”
“She’ll come home. I know she will. She wouldn’t leave me forever.”
Shark Lady shakes her head as she cranks the engine and backs our Jeep down the driveway.
* * *
The first place we stop at is the bar. Shark Lady says there’s really no reason to check anyplace else. She pulls into the parking lot, cuts the engine, and turns towards me again.
“Stay put.” She points to my seat and gives me a look. I put my hands up in surrender. She climbs out and walks into the bar. I suppose it’s not too crusty of a bar, but I haven’t seen very many bars to compare. But if I could drink, I wouldn’t drink here. I think I would go someplace classier, like a five-star restaurant. But mom seemed to like this bar. I think it’s called Joe’s, but the paint on the sign has faded, so I can’t really tell. It could also be called Moe’s or Boe’s, maybe Foe’s. Joe’s seems like the best choice though.
An older man in a green jacket enters the faded red door, but Shark Lady still hasn’t come back out yet. I lock and unlock the door while I wait. I like the sound. Clouds start to move over the sun, but still Shark Lady hasn’t come back out. I know that clouds don’t mean that it’s nighttime, but it still gets darker and I’d rather that Shark Lady would hurry up. Dark-time and bars don’t mix well. At least, they didn’t for mom. Dark-time and bars made her stay out all night and never come home. Before the last time, mom would come back home in the day-time, pat my head before I left for school, and fall down on the couch or her bed to sleep. I don’t like this bar. It keeps my mom away from me.
The faded red door opens again and Shark Lady finally steps back out. She slams the Jeep door with a huff and puts a hand over her eyes.
“She’s not there, is she?”
“Of course not. What made you think she would be? But she was there. ‘Bout a week ago was the last time Bill saw her.”
Bill’s the bartender. He’s nice. He gives me cookies when mom brings me to do her drinking. He also drives us home sometimes when mom can’t walk straight.
“Does he know where she went? So we can go find her and you can go back to college?”
“It’s summer, Hippo. I don’t have to go back just yet.” She sighs and stares out the window. “Bill said she left with some man. Talked about going downstate for a couple of weeks. Apparently, this man has a cabin, or something, in Pine Ridge. God! Damn! Stupid!” Shark Lady slams the steering wheel with each word. “How could she do this to me? Huh? Leave me here with you? We had an agreement. During school she was to watch you. Dammit.”
I think Shark Lady is talking to herself now. I hope she is, because I don’t want her to say those things to me. Those words don’t make me feel too good. I kind of want to make Shark Lady feel better, but I’m not sure if I really do. I gently put my hand on her arm. “Okay, let’s just go find mom so you don’t have to watch me anymore.”
“Dammit, Hippo, that’s not what I meant. Ah, never mind. Come on, let’s go home.”
* * *
The stray cat greets us at the door. He purrs as Shark Lady scratches him behind his ears. I pat him on the head, but don’t talk to Shark Lady as I go inside. She hurt my feelings, so I don’t have to talk to her right now. That’s not my rule; Shark Lady taught it to me. She said that when the bully girls hurt my feelings that I don’t have to talk to them. I think the rule works here, too.
I go sit on our couch and look out the window while Shark Lady goes to her room. The stray cat is sitting outside on the window sill, staring at me. I stare back, but I can’t win. You should never get into a staring contest with a cat. They don’t blink, and you will never win. I think they must be aliens.
Shark Lady comes into the living room and tosses a duffle bag at my feet.
“Come on, Hippo. Pack up.”
“Where’re we going?”
“To that cabin in Pine Ridge or whatever. It’s a two day drive and I can’t leave you alone.” Shark Lady pulls her hair back into a pony tail. “So I guess you’re coming. Go pack some clothes, toothbrush. Stuff you need for two or three days.”
“All right.” I swing my feet down off the couch and pad to my room. I don’t grab much, not just because we’ll only be gone for a couple days, but because I don’t have a lot. Of course I bring some clothes and my toothbrush, but I don’t think Shark Lady would like it if I brought my tub of worms. She thinks they’re slimy. I leave them behind, they’ll be okay for a couple of days, and grab my lucky buckeye instead. I found it on the ground a couple of summers ago. I suppose it was lying near a buckeye tree, but that particular tree didn’t look any different from the trees around it, and I don’t know different tree species anyway. I also don’t know why they call it a “buckeye.” It looks nothing like a buck, or an eye. Either way, it’s lucky, so I’m bringing it.
Shark Lady’s waiting in the living room, all ready to go. “You ready, then? Come on, let’s go.” She opens the door and ushers me out. The gray cat is on the window sill, so I pick him up.
“What are you doing, Hippo? Put it down and let’s go.”
“He’s coming with us.” I squeeze the cat tighter as I walk to the car.
“No, it’s not. Put it down.”
“You can’t make me. I’m taking him, he’s coming with us. He makes me feel better.”
Shark Lady squeezes her eyes shut and sighs. She stares at the cat, but he doesn’t blink.
“Fine. But if it runs away or gets run over, don’t come crying to me.”
See? Cats always win.
* * *
We’ve been driving for an hour, I think. The gray cat is sitting on my lap in the front seat. He’s been there the whole time. Well, I guess it hasn’t been that long to say “the whole time,” but it seems like the right way to describe it. He’s very calm for a cat in a car. They say that cats don’t really like being inside of cars. I guess they were wrong about this cat. I scratch him behind the ears; he likes that. I think all cats like that.
“Why did you bring that thing?”
“He’s not a thing. He’s a cat.”
“He’s mangy. Probably has fleas that you’ll catch. Then I’ll have to get you fumigated.”
“You don’t fumigate people for fleas. I would need a flea bath.”
“Yes, that’s much better.”
“You would need a flea bath too, Shark Lady. Since you’re sitting in the car with me and the fleas.”
“For goodness sake, we don’t even know if the thing has fleas. Drop it, Hippo.”
“You brought it up.”
Shark Lady scowls at me. The clouds are still out, so it’s still dark, but it’s definitely nighttime now. A very dark nighttime. I like clouds in the daytime; they make nice patterns in the sky and are fluffy to watch. I don’t like the clouds so much at nighttime. Sometimes the clouds would come at nighttime when mom was away and the house would get very dark. You can’t see very well in the dark. Especially when there are shadows. Shadows are dark as well, so they are experts at hiding in the nighttime. When mom was away in the cloudy dark, the shadows came out to play. They tried to get in the front door and my bedroom window. So I would turn on every light in the house to keep the dark and shadows out, to lock them outside where they couldn’t get me. Since Shark Lady is here now, maybe she’ll stay after we find mom so I won’t have to be alone when the cloudy dark comes. Because I’m pretty sure that once we find mom, she will still go out at night and leave me soup for the microwave.
“All right. We’re stopping here for the night.” Shark Lady puts on her blinker and pulls into a motel. It’s one of those small roadside places, the ones you always see on TV that has wood paneling in the rooms and bed bugs. Only this one probably doesn’t have bed bugs. Maybe the cat could eat them. I know cats hunt things, things usually bigger than bed bugs, but maybe the gray cat would want a little snack. I’ll have to ask him.
“Do you think the cat will eat the bed bugs?”
“There’re no bed bugs Hippo.”
“But look at this place, Shark Lady. It looks like the Bates Motel.”
“You’re too young for the Bates Motel.”
“I’m not too young! I’ve seen the movie.”
“Fine, whatever. Stay in the car, I’m going to check in.” Shark Lady gets out and slams the door. Right away she yanks it open again. “Lock the door, Hippo!”
“Geez!” I push the lock button and hug the gray cat a little tighter. He squirms against my chest, probably because I’m squeezing him, but I think he can get over that right now. There’s only one other car in the lot, a beat up pick-up truck that no longer has any color to it. I suppose it could be called rust-colored, but the truck would have to be in one piece for it to have a color. It’s just rust and four wheels. I jump as something shakes our car.
“Hippo! Open up!” Shark Lady’s wrenching on the door handle. I hit the lock button, but the door doesn’t open.
“You have to let go of the door.”
“Hippo, open this door right now.”
“I’m trying, but you have to let go of the door. You’re the one who told me to lock it!”
Shark Lady sighs as she rests her head on the window. “Hippo, I’m letting go of the door. Unlock it.”
I look at the button, but then reach over and pull on the driver’s door lock. At least it will open this way. Shark Lady rushes inside. “Geez, Hippo. I tell you to lock the door to keep creep and weirdos out, not to keep me from getting back in!”
“I was just doing what you told me.” The gray cat stops trying to get away and starts purring. I stroke his head to keep my eyes dry. Shark Lady pounds the steering wheel.
“Aw, Hippo. Come on, grab your bags and let’s get inside. We both need some rest.”
* * *
The room has one bed with a floral print comforter, a TV, and a bathroom with a yellow tub. I don’t really want to share the bed with Shark Lady right now, but I can put the gray cat between us as a barrier. Cats make great barriers because when they are sleeping, they are impossible to move. I think they get heavy on purpose. So he should work to keep her on her side of the bed, away from me. If not, the gray cat can bite her. I climb on the bed and set the gray cat down next to me.
“Uh uh, Hippo. Cat off the bed.”
“No. I want him on the bed, so he stays.”
“Come on, Hippo. I don’t want to sleep with a cat. Off the bed.”
“Well, I don’t want to sleep with you! Maybe you should get off the bed!” I draw my knees to my chest and stare out the window. I don’t want Shark Lady to see me right now. I wish I was back home so I could run to my bedroom and hide under the covers. I would hide there when Shark Lady and mom had an argument. They couldn’t see me under the covers, so I would be safe from their words. But I can’t do that here, because Shark Lady would still see me, and I haven’t checked to see if there are bed bugs yet. The gray cat doesn’t seem to be hunting anything, so maybe there aren’t any, but maybe he just doesn’t feel like hunting yet.
The bed shifts as Shark Lady sits next to me. I try to scooch away, but the headboard stops me. Shark Lady pulls up one knee and rests her chin on it. “Look, Hippo. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that you still yelled.”
“I know. I’m sorry, okay?”
“No, not yet.”
Shark Lady looks sideways at me. “What do you mean not yet?”
“It’s not okay yet. That’s what I mean.”
“Fine. Whatever.” Shark Lady throws her hands in the air and gets up. “I’m getting a shower. You do what you want.” Shark Lady walks into the bathroom and slams the door. I reach for the gray cat, but he flattens his ears and gives me a sideways look, too. I think maybe he wants me to leave him alone. It’s dark outside, but I kind of want to be somewhere else, so I go out anyway. Shark Lady wouldn’t like me to go outside by myself when it’s dark, but I don’t care what she would like anymore. I grab a key card before I go out, and I make sure the door doesn’t slam. I don’t want Shark Lady to hear and have her interrupt my quiet time.
The moon is almost fully risen as I make my way to the Jeep. The doors are locked, so I can’t get inside. Well, I suppose I could go back to the room and get the Jeep keys, but that means being in the same room as Shark Lady. I go to the back of the Jeep and crawl up the bumper to the roof. It’s flat enough, since our Jeep doesn’t have a roof rack, and a good place to sit. Up here, I’m invisible. People don’t usually look at the roof of cars, so I’m pretty well hidden. Hidden in plain sight. I want to lie down, but the roof is pretty cold; I stay sitting instead.
Shark Lady didn’t used to be so mean. When she was younger, we would have fun together. She would still fight with mom, but she would come find me afterward and explain that I shouldn’t worry about it. That she and mom were just having growing pains and that it will be okay soon. She used to make me feel better. But then she changed. I think it’s because she went to college. Shark Lady wasn’t around anymore when mom went to her bad place. I was alone then, and I didn’t know what to do. Hiding under the covers helped a bit, but I would still hear mom stumbling about the house, running into the couch, knocking plates off of the china cabinet. Shark Lady stopped protecting me.
The moon is fully up. It’s really bright tonight, big and full. The whole parking lot is lit up. Not that the parking lot in moonlight is very pretty. But there are some night creatures out. I can hear peepers, even though I can’t see the pond they must be singing in. Across the road there’s some guy shambling along. He’s too far away and it’s too dark for me to tell if he’s drunk or just walking. I can’t really tell what he looks like because he’s not walking under a streetlight. I can tell that he’s tall, but just about everyone is taller than me. Everyone except babies, and toddlers, I suppose. Okay, and midgets. Maybe if I asked him to go stand under the streetlight I would be able to see him better, but that would be Stranger Danger, so I should just be quiet.
The man crosses the street and walks towards me. The light from the motel sign shows me that he has some gray in his hair even though he doesn’t look that much older than Shark Lady. I think about climbing down and going back into the room, but it’s still not okay with Shark Lady yet, so I stay seated and stare the prematurely gray-haired man down as he stops in front of me.
“You shouldn’t be out here at night, by yourself.” The prematurely gray-haired man puts his hands in his jean pockets and looks up at me.
I cross my arms. “I’m not by myself. You can leave now.”
“Why are you sitting up there, anyway?”
“Why are you standing down there?”
The prematurely gray-haired man looks up and down the street and scratches his head. “Well, I was walking down the street, then I saw you sitting there alone, so I came over.”
I put my chin in my hands and look down at him. “That’s a pretty good answer. What’s your name?”
“Why do you want to know my name?”
“Isn’t that how polite conversation starts when people don’t know each other? We can’t really have a polite conversation without knowing each other’s names. Well, if you were a cat, or maybe a dog, we could have a conversation. I’m not sure if it would be polite though, because I don’t know if that matters to cats and dogs.”
“Hmm, I think cats and dogs would like polite conversation as much as anyone. And I would think that they all have names, we just don’t always know them, so cats and dogs make exceptions for those of us who are ignorant.” He scratches his nose and looks down the street.
I uncross my legs and swing them against the rear window. “I have a gray cat, you know. But actually he’s not my cat. He’s a stray cat that I brought along with us. He hasn’t told me his name yet.”
“When the time is right, I’m sure he will.”
I hear a door click open behind me and Shark Lady strides out to the Jeep.
“Hippo! What the hell are you doing? I get out of the shower and find you gone. That is not okay!” Her hair is hanging wet around her shoulders and her arms are crossed in front of her chest. That means she’s really mad. She stares at me a moment longer, then turns to the prematurely gray-haired man. “And who the hell are you?”
The prematurely gray-haired man rubs the back of his neck and looks sheepishly at the ground. “My name’s Chris. We were just talking.”
Shark Lady’s eyes go wide. “It’s almost midnight and you decide that it’s okay to walk up to a little girl and talk to her? What the hell is wrong with you?” Some spittle flies into Chris’s face as Shark Lady continues to shout. “What kind of pervert are you? Geez! Hippo!” She turns to me. “Get down from there right now and get inside!”
I cross my arms and pout. “I don’t want to. And you shouldn’t be yelling at Chris; he didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Hippo, I’m not going to tell you again. Get. Down. Now.” Shark Lady’s foot is tapping a staccato on the ground. Now she’s really mad.
“Hey, look, I didn’t mean to cause trouble.” Chris has his hands up and is slowly backing away.
Shark Lady rounds on him, her wet hair curtaining around her. “Why are you still here?”
“Hey, family business. I get it. I’m gone.” Chris turns to leave, but pauses after a step and looks back at Shark Lady. “I know it’s none of my business, but maybe you shouldn’t leave your kid sister alone.”
“Get out of here!” Shark Lady grabs my hand and pulls me down off of the Jeep. I wave bye to Chris as she hauls me inside the motel room and slams the door.
* * *
This motel doesn’t have a continental breakfast, so we pack our bags and leave in search of food. I didn’t speak to Shark Lady at all last night. I think this has been the longest I’ve purposely not spoken to her. She didn’t try to speak to me, either, so I guess we’re even. Shark Lady woke up this morning, tossed my bag to me, and started packing her duffel. She barely glanced at me, and she definitely did not speak. She ushered me out the door, and we left. Now we are back on the highway, and I can only assume that we are looking for breakfast. I know getting to Pine Ridge and finding mom is the priority, but I think the most recent priority is breakfast. The next priority can be finding mom. Not that I don’t want to find her, but I don’t think we are any closer than we were yesterday, so stopping for breakfast shouldn’t delay us for long.
The car weaves its way up a hill; it seems the higher we go, the less falling-leaved trees line the road. Instead, there are more of the pointy-leaved trees. I know that trees aren’t really called falling-leaved and pointy-leaved, but I don’t know real tree names, so I’d rather call them falling-leaved and pointy-leaved. I’m pretty sure that the pointy-leaved trees means that we are constantly going higher. They say that the higher you get the less air there is. But there are many trees and birds up here, so there must be enough air for us, too.
Shark Lady still hasn’t looked at me. She’s gripping the steering wheel with both hands at ten and two, like bad things will happen if she lets go. I wonder what she’s afraid of.
“We’ll find mom, you know.”
“Uh huh.” She doesn’t look away from the road.
“You still want to find mom, don’t you?”
“Hippo, stop talking.”
I look down at my hands in my lap. Shark Lady is in a bad place. I don’t want her to be in a bad place.
“Why did you yell at Chris?”
Shark Lady closes her eyes. “Hippo, please be quiet.”
“He wasn’t doing anything wrong. We were just talking. I know Stranger Danger, and he didn’t seem that dangerous for a stranger.”
Shark Lady pounds the steering wheel. “Dammit, Hippo! You snuck out of the hotel room while I was showering, at night. You didn’t take the room card with you. Anything could have happened to you! Don’t you get it, Hippo? If something had happened to you…” She runs her hand through her hair, then reaches over and gives my knee a pat. I don’t know what that is supposed to mean. Sure, we’re sisters, but Shark Lady has never been, well, affectionate.
“But I did take the room card with me.”
“That’s not the point. You left without telling me.”
“I think that is a point, but okay, I won’t leave without telling you anymore.”
“That’s all I ask,” Shark Lady sighs.
I turn to look behind us. We’ve climbed pretty high and this being a two-lane road, there aren’t many houses. Or places to eat.
“Are we going to stop for breakfast? I don’t see any restaurants, but maybe we could find some bird eggs or something.”
“Why would we look for bird eggs, Hippo?”
“Because there’s no restaurants on this road. The motel didn’t have any breakfast and you didn’t stop in town and if you look behind us you’ll see that it looks the same as ahead of us and I don’t see breakfast anywhere. There’s plenty of birds up here, so there’s bound to be a nest, and we could get some eggs, and maybe use a lighter to cook them ….”
“Gosh, Hippo! We’re not going to eat wild bird eggs! I have some granola bars in my backpack; they’re behind the seat if you’re so hungry.”
I turn to stare her straight in the eye. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Shark Lady rolls her eyes and reaches for her backpack.
“Ten and two, Shark Lady.”
Shark Lady thrusts the backpack at me and rolls her eyes again. “Just eat the granola.”
* * *
After a few hours we’ve climbed so high that even the birds have gone. Which is weird, because birds like the sky, so they should still be here. Maybe they haven’t gone, but are just flying someplace else. Shark Lady turns off onto a dirt road and we begin to wind our way through trees so close that I could roll down the window and touch them.
“Hippo, what are you doing?”
“I’m just trying to touch the trees.”
“Not while we’re moving! Come on, you have to be smarter than that!”
“I just wanted to touch the trees,” I grumble as I pull my hand back in. “Are we there yet?”
“Just about. This should be the driveway to the Pine Ridge cabin.”
“Should be?”
“It is the driveway.”
“Okay. Hold on.” He’s not on the floor by my feet. I crane my neck to check the back seat. He’s not there either. He’s not on Shark Lady’s lap. “We have to go back!”
“What? We’re almost there, Hippo. I’m not missing the opportunity to drag mom’s ass back home.”
“He’s missing!”
“The cat?”
“Yes! He was at the hotel, but he’s not in the car!”
“I’m sure he’s fine Hippo. He wasn’t your cat anyway. He had enough and probably left.”
“No, we had a connection! He probably went for breakfast, like we should have and when we didn’t show up, he got scared and went back to the room, only we weren’t there!”
“Hippo, he’ll be fine. He’s just a cat.”
“He was my friend.”
“Yeah, well I’m your sister, surely I’m more important that the cat.”
“The cat didn’t yell at me.”
Shark Lady runs her hand through her hair. “Hippo, I said I was sorry.”
We reach the end of the dirt road, where a cabin comes into view. It looks like a regular cabin, I suppose. I’ve never seen a cabin in person before, but I’ve seen one on TV. And this is mostly what they look like on TV. It’s of course made of wood, with wood walls and a wood roof. It has a small wooden porch. It’s basically a big block of wood that someone could live in. Shark Lady rolls to a stop a few feet away from a sign that says “Pine Ridge.” I didn’t think houses needed their names posted outside, but maybe it’s a cabin thing.
“Okay.”
Shark Lady takes the key out of the ignition, and opens the door. “Okay, what?”
“Okay you’re sorry.” I get out as well, take a step towards the porch, then stop. “I don’t think we should go in.”
Shark Lady has her hand on the door knob when she turns around. She pinches the bridge of her nose. I’ve seen mom do that when she’s trying to pretend her headache will go away by pinching her nose. “Why not? Why shouldn’t we go into the cabin?”
“I just don’t think we should go in.” I look down at the ground while I rub my arm. “It doesn’t feel right.” I’m not sure why I said that. I’m fairly certain that a place can’t feel right or wrong, but somehow this one definitely feels wrong. Like the shadows came out to play in the day-time.
Striding down the porch steps, Shark Lady rushes to me and grabs my arms. “Hippo, listen to me. We need to go in there. Bill at the bar said that she came here with some guy. Which means that she might still be here. Look, her car is parked beside the cabin.” I crane my neck and see that Shark Lady is right. Mom’s red sedan is parked beside the cabin. Shark Lady puts her hand to my cheek. “Listen. You know that mom and I don’t get along very well. You know that I love you, but I am not ready to raise a kid on my own. I’m sorry, but you know that’s true. In a month and a half, I’ll have to go back to college. I need to make sure that mom gets her shit together before then so that someone is around to take care of you.”
“You could take care of me. Or I could take care of myself,” I mumble, avoiding Shark Lady’s eyes.
Shark Lady sighs and stands up. “Yeah, well, no to both. Look, you can stand out here if you want, but I’m going into the cabin now.”
I grab her hand before she reaches the steps. “What about the man?”
“What man?”
“The one mom left with.”
Shark Lady pulls her hand away and pauses with one foot on the steps. “He’s going to get an earful from me, that’s what’s gonna happen.”
Shark Lady marches up the steps and right into the cabin. She doesn’t even knock. I start to follow, but stop before the first step. I put my right foot out, then draw it back. I try my left foot, but it doesn’t want to go either. Mom’s red sedan is a bit dusty; it could use a bath. Her tennis shoes are under the bench on the porch. Why wouldn’t she bring her shoes inside? They don’t look that dirty. And I don’t see any men’s shoes. Through the open door I see Shark Lady walk away from the back room, a weird look on her face. It’s kind of scrunched up and nauseated. She stops when she sees me at the steps, her hand halfway to pinching her nose. My feet start up the steps.
“Hippo, stay.” I reach the door. “Hippo, stay outside!” I push past Shark Lady into the back room. Shark Lady wraps me in a hug from behind. “Hippo, I’m so sorry.” I cling to her as she drags me out of the room, my eyes never leaving mom’s face.
* * *
Shark Lady can’t convince me to look at her. I sit in the Jeep, looking at my lap, wishing the gray cat was here to help stop the tears. It’s been a few hours. The cops have come, and so has the dead people examiner. I think they call them coroners. They said she had a heart attack. There’s no sign of the man mom came with. Maybe there never was a man. She could’ve ditched him somewhere. I think that mom liked to be alone once she finished fooling around. But she always came home afterward, to make me food, and to tell me to do my homework. She never had a heart attack before. She never planned on not coming home before.
The police cars and ambulance pull away as Shark Lady climbs back in the Jeep.
“Now what?”
“What do you mean, Hippo?”
“We found mom. Now, what do we do? Mom’s not going to come home, and you’re going to go back to college. What do we do?” I look down at my feet as I run my hand across my eyes. “Mom’s not coming home anymore.”
Shark Lady stares down at her lap, where she’s rubbing the car key with her thumb. “No, Hippo. She’s not coming home anymore.” Shark Lady sighs, running her hand through her hair. She reaches over and gives me a sideways hug. “Come on.” Shark Lady starts the engine, and the Jeep roars to life.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going home.”
“Are you going to stay this time?”
Shark Lady aims the Jeep down the dirt road and eases us onto the blacktop.
“Yeah.”
“And you’ll make me soup?”
“I’ll make you more than just soup.”
“Frozen TV dinners?”
“And even take out.”
I look over and smile at Shark Lady and she smiles back.
“Okay.”
“Okay what, Hippo?”
“You can come stay with me.”
“I didn’t need your permission, Hippo.”
“Can we stop at that motel and get the cat?”
“Geez, Hippo! Will you forget about that cat?”
“You can’t stay with me unless you promise that we stop and look for the cat.”
Shark Lady throws her hands up in the air. “Fine! We’ll stop to look for the cat! Happy now?”
“Very much.”
* * *
My name is Hippo. I wasn’t born with that name; I kind of fell into it. Just like my sister fell into the name Shark Lady. She’s eight years older than me, which is pretty old. Shark Lady goes to college, but she lives at home now. Since mom died, Shark Lady hasn’t talked about moving out once she’s done with college. She makes me food, and helps me with homework, and still frightens the bully girls when they follow me home. She evens pets the gray cat behind the ears, and he lets her.
I sometimes go into mom’s room and sit on her bed. Shark Lady comes and sits with me. She hugs me and I hug her back. On those days, she rubs my back and tells me that everything will be okay, even though mom’s gone. I know she’s right. I know everything will continue to be okay. The gray cat told me so. He also finally told me his name, but I promised I’d keep it a secret.
Abby is a 2013 graduate of Northland College with a BA in Writing. This is her first publication.