Scott Hogan holds a BA in Philosophy from UC Berkeley and an MA in English from SUNY StonyBrook. He currently teaches math at a big public high school.
My name is Bill. I live with my roommate Chris in a senior housing apartment. We have a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment. I live in one room and have my own bath and Chris lives in the other room with his own bathroom. Both are upstairs.
I was on a list for senior housing for over a year. Of the 100 units available around the city, nearly 500 seniors are on a waiting list. You get on a waiting list and only get an apartment when someone dies or someone moves out and lives with their relatives or family. Senior housing takes 1/3rd of your income, whether you are on social security or something else. My rent of $600 a month includes utilities and cable.
There’s a problem with Chris. He’s a slob. When I first moved in, I knew right away something was wrong. I don’t go to bed without doing my dishes but Chris leaves his dirty dishes in the sink for days on end. He sleeps on the couch downstairs. He doesn’t sleep in his bedroom upstairs. After a few months, I noticed the smell of his pillow on the coach. It got so bad I put it outside and he kept asking me “Where is my pillow?” I told him I put it outside to air out the smell.
The blue towel. Well, one day, soon after I moved in, I found a blue towel hanging in my bathroom. It went well with the plastic blue dolphins on the shower curtain. The blue towel was his. I told Chris I didn’t want the blue towel in my bathroom and moved it out and put it in the linen closet. The next day the blue towel was back in my bathroom. Chris told me he liked the look of his blue towel in my bathroom.
A few days later I put the blue towel in the linen closet and locked it in there. I locked my bedroom and the bathroom too. I came home from work and found the blue towel back in the bathroom. He had unlocked the closet and my bathroom.
I had had enough. I took the blue towel and locked it in the trunk of my car. Chris kept asking me “Where is my blue towel?” and I told him “Don’t worry, it’s in good hands.”
This is the same guy who asked me if they speak Italian in Italy when we watched a travel show.