“looking backward through a telescope” by Benjamin Brindise

justin and i are sober now
megan got hit by a car
aidan got a cat
two cats, maybe, I’m not sure

two years ago we were a balloon
my chest is smaller now
megan lives at the ER
justin tells us he retired

romanticization of a moment
is looking backward through a telescope
on April Fool’s Day – everything is too hard to see clearly
and you end up with a black eye

so much of life is jumping
i’m not sure what that means
but i think it explains why
we came up with the concept of faith

if a metaphorical fire goes out
it symbolizes an undesired end
if a real fire goes out
it prevents the forest from burning down

megan tells me she will dance again
and i believe her
justin says to call if i ever need to talk
aidan looks happy whenever i see him

if i’m being honest i’m not sure how i feel
about all this ‘getting older’ stuff
but i’m glad i made it long enough
to have a chance to figure out how i feel

you can’t hold anything
only let it run through your fingers
anything that gets caught
inherently becomes different the moment it is

you can’t put a cool spring wind
against your skin, on a fire escape
that makes Buffalo feel like Brooklyn
in a facebook memory

hell, you can’t even put it in a poem
life is like one big inside joke
to get it
you had to be there

i’m not sure what i’m trying to say
other than that you can miss
the flames that burned you
long after you got smart enough to put them out

justin and i are sober now
megan is traveling again
aidan bought a house
time changes everything, even your friends

Just Buffalo teaching artist BENJAMIN BRINDISE is Buffalo-born and Nairobi-based. He is the author of the chapbook ROTTEN KID (Ghost City Press, 2017), the full length collection of poetry Those Who Favor Fire, Those Who Pray to Fire (EMP Books, 2018), and the short fiction micro chap Secret Anniversaries (Ghost City Press, 2019). His poetry and fiction has been published widely online and in print including Maudlin House, Peach Mag, and The Marathon Literary Review. He tweets @benbrindise