it’s constant
the noise
the requests
the glances and
casual wonderings thrown
my way.
i’m tired of it
to tell you the truth.
i slog through the day
terribly and exhaustingly aware
of everyone around me
i come home and immediately
there you are
expectant
asking about my classes
asking if
now that i’m home
can i do this or that or
the other thing.
i force replies out of my mouth
until
suddenly
as if the universe
on a whim
decided to cut me a break
i hear those miraculous words –
“I forgot to tell you,
I’m going out tonight.”
my heart leaps and
i try to keep the excitement
out of my voice as i think of
all the precious minutes
the blissful seconds
of silence
or
if i want it
of music at its loudest volume
that your impending absence allows.
i wait impatiently
as you get ready
pull on your shoes
i tell you to have fun
take your time
i tell you that you deserve it
but in actuality
i’m speaking to myself
to the girl who is constantly
with every breath
praying for some time
to herself.
Indigo Williams is originally from Seattle, WA, but is currently pursuing a degree while living in Madrid, Spain.