After twenty years I gathered the clues,
I’ve put them together right here for you.
The secrets to marriage you’ll want to hear
To use with your wife, your honey, your dear.
Our wives don’t want us to solve their issue.
Let them vent while you give them a tissue.
Women already know what they will do,
Just listen to them as they talk things through.
Speaking of speaking, you must lose the tone
Or else for that night you will be alone.
The way I fix my tone is an old one:
Less or no talking, silence is golden.
Roses and diamonds first make her heart swoon
Those may work fine up through the honeymoon.
But as you get older pick up a broom,
Do dishes and laundry, vacuum a room.
Do chores and tasks that will relieve her stress
Put your wife first, that is always the best.
No training to put the toilet seat down,
One night you’ll fall in and you’ll almost drown.
Why would you argue? You’ll sound like a grouch.
You’ll lose anyway and sleep on the couch.
Be humble and bring her humor each day,
Make joy a main goal and keep it that way.
Encourage your wife, be her biggest fan.
Support her and be a part of her plans.
You should act as a team, partners in life.
Stick up for each other, it’s only right.
And if you’re not sure what to say or do.
Things get too heated or she’s feeling blue.
Remember, just use phrase one or phrase two.
One is I’m sorry, two is I love you.
David A. Grenardo is a professor of law at the St. Mary’s University School of Law in San Antonio, Texas. He was a four-year letterman in football at Rice University and earned his J.D. from Duke Law School.