Shovels by Dan A. Cardoza

Dan has an MS Degree in Education. He is the author of three poetry Chapbooks, and a book of fiction titled Second Stories.


Shovels

I tell the salesclerk I’m just looking, and like any valued host he says, take your time.  You know where to find me. By the way, we have more coming in next week.

I think, “What a good steward.”

The shovels are all stacked in their designated boxes, row, one next to the other, diverse. Some reveal smooth hickory handles from the Richland Company, in Arkansas. Others disclose fiberglass handles, manufactured in Bristol Virginia, yellow and orange. They’re a few short shovels presenting grip handled ends, for a more confident fit, purpose, maybe ambition. The hardware shop boasts square shovels too, for down under the cold, one painted black for trenches that narrow, two that seem serious about shoveling deep snow, with names like Ames, Seymour, and Bond.

Most designed for all sorts of depth, width, and length of what was whole, in advance of shoveling any specification or design of hole. All their resumes nearly perfect, light use, all with warranties ensuring long life or replacement if broken.

Before backhoes, shovels boasted a celebrated reputation, more dignified.  In their heyday, they buried the strong, the fragile, even children. Designated duties were somber, yet renowned, performed to honor, often cause for literary mention in poems and novels.

Most contemporary shovels are designed for vocations in mind, less occupation, mainly for renewal as seen in the hardware stores of spring. Chores include the planting of carrots, tomatoes, maybe corn, maybe fill a few post holes.

Or perhaps for digging up the past, so curious children can dream big, to dig clear to China through a pile of sandy loam, or if very lucky, discover the tip of a devil’s horn. 

With time, it’s difficult to keep the past covered up, like the real reason for my enthusiastic shoveling, chase for imaginary discovery, so mother could speak to the Chaplin, alone.

In the Civil War, they buried soldiers, and slaves, and elbows and legs, and stallions in fields where fifes played Dixie and drums beat Yankee Doodle Dandy, both instruments loved and hated. In World War two, at Normandy, they buried the honorable, where each spring locals swear not to stare at the hills, because the yellow yarrow will blind you like sun. And in Vietnam they dug foxholes for G.I.’s who lay in a fetus posture, crazed and low through the dawns early light, begging for mother.

As I fix my eyes on the shovels they begin to dim, as a string of fluorescent lights click, switch off, then out, then row, after row, after row, the way the November sentinel moon zigzags and snaps through the tall gaps in the stand of shaky Sycamore, at Arlington Cemetery.  Grave row lights switch off, dim, row after row, this way the dead can rest in the dark, not anxious to close a hardware store, to go home with their family. So can they dream, while I do the math of how many shovels that wait their throw will it take to back fill the craters that pock the moon?  

Negative Capability by Bruce Alford

Bruce Alford received a Master of Fine Arts from the University of Alabama and was an assistant professor of creative writing at the University of South Alabama from 2007-2011. He currently lives in Hammond, Louisiana. Before working in academia, he was an inner-city missionary and journalist. You can find out more about Bruce and his work at his website, bruce-alford.com, connect with him on Facebook and on Twitter @bruceealford.


Negative Capability

The slant of a dot moves up and down, like someone descending stairs. The boy blinks, and waves of heat move around his hand, and his mother steps in the doorway, smiling, and holds a long knife near his head.

Al Jolson sings on the radio.

Everything is lovely … when you start to roam.

It always makes him imagine walking among some slim trees or lifting a stone. For a while his problems vanish. And he shuts his eyes and tries to see

With his fingers on his eyelids, he feels those balls inside their sockets, moving side to side. Disturbing little tears come out of the cracks of his eyes.

Look, he stands at the house, and sparrows trace its spine in deep concentration. He marks the riddle of their flight. He tightens his lips, and you can see his skull under turgid veins today and the letter M at his temple.


Bewildered, nauseous and withered, he cannot eat

Forks abandon his fingers. So, he sits next to the house and writes in dirt. At the finger’s tip, cursive blends into earth. God gives him this faith, god gives him this gift. It has no meaning

Silent and miraculous. Everything he believed, he always believes, but now, he gets glimpses of time without end. Make sense or don’t, he tells himself.

Act as though you believe in miracles, mythologies these enchantments in your tea, the many ways of being, with little conviction or sense, or with great meaning, based on your freedom to decide


To make sense or not

At last, a dot appears at the end of the road. And the dot moves up and down, like someone ascending stairs, and the dot unfolds until it turns into a figure of a man.

Somebody is coming. But who can tell.

Bacon and Bitter Coffee by Yueying Guo

Yueying Guo is an English Major from New York City. She has been published in Eunoia Review and Linden Avenue and won first place for poetry in both Newtown Literary and the Penguin Random House Creative Writing Competition in 2018. She also likes art, philosophy, and books.


Bacon and Bitter Coffee

When Nathan told me that he was married after five months of going out, I was afraid to feel. There were so many things I could feel: hatred, anger, jealousy, sadness—but I didn’t feel anything. I only remember thinking that the air conditioning in the cafe was turned up too high, that I didn’t eat breakfast yet and the mushroom omelette in front of me looked delicious, and that Nathan looked good in his casual striped shirt.

He continued on talking, frantically, when he didn’t see my expression change or any reaction. “…I divorced her two days ago and I’ve been gathering up courage to tell you it ever since. I know it’s shameful of me to ask this of you, but—if you still love me—will you stay with me?”

At that moment, I started crying. Adultery was the same thing that brought my dad to hit my mom that day, to leave us, and for my mom to drive into a river.

There was so many things I could tell him at that moment: the fact that if he was fine committing adultery now, about about the future? The fact that if he was keeping it a secret from me for the five months we were dating, were we really in love? Did he really trust me? Or I could simply say no—but I didn’t.

It was only when I remembered my mom’s face that I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears came out of my eyes, my teeth chattered, and I stood up. Nathan was saying something and tried to grab my hand, but I slapped him away before grabbing my bag and running out of the cafe with its bright lights and alluring scent of bacon and bitter coffee. 

I ran through the streets, aware of the people looking at me, smudging my makeup as I rubbed my face, high heels unsuited for running slapping the concrete ground, skirts swishing at my legs. I wish I hadn’t dressed up for today, for him. I had even been so excited to use the new perfume I brought last week, and had wished he would notice it. I even wore pink lingerie because he said pink looked best on me. I tried so hard for him. Yet this whole time he was married. 

Once I was on the train, I had finally stopped crying and trembling. I rested my head against the window and watched the world flash by. All I could do was think. I was committing adultery this whole time, and I didn’t even know it. The very thing that killed my mom and killed half of my heart. I thought about how I felt when I saw my dad’s cold eyes the day he left us. I thought about how I felt when I saw my mom sit on her unmade bed for days after he left and before she died. Mostly, I thought about how for a moment, I was about to say ‘yes’. 

Catching Grasshoppers and other poems by Kristine Brown

On the weekends, Kristine Brown frequently wanders through historic neighborhoods, saying ‘Hello’ to most any cat she encounters. Some of these cats are found on her blog, Crumpled Paper Cranes (https://crumpledpapercranes.com). Her creative work can be found in Hobart, Sea Foam Mag, Philosophical Idiot, among others, and a collection of flash prose and poetry, Scraped Knees, was released in 2017 by Ugly Sapling.


Catching Grasshoppers

climbing trees
of a sleeping yesteryear.

this,
my favorite hobby.
catching grasshoppers
as they fought
from opposite sides.

a tennis court
with boundaries
set by chalk,
soft and washable.

like shirts you can say
I stole,
but no others I own
could pedal in tandem
with my only black cardigan
undoubtedly well.

I’ve never seen a dragonfly,
and snow is like pork
to babies of vegan love.

but its sole presence,
a decade not exactly halved.

I’m in doubt
of its capacity
to surpass the travels
of an earnest breath.


On Being Polite

verifiable addresses
and envelopes returned.
some days, you don’t know
exactly who to believe,
to whom you reveal
your most embarrassing moments.

taking a bite of mudpie,
thinking it’s chocolate mousse.

sums up my love life,
and his, and hers,
and theirs,
as they quarrel in plastic seats.
he took her out for crab legs,
but crustaceans make her bleed.
see, now that’s a problem.

but if she were to ask,
“Are we bothering you?”
and you vigorously shook
your scarlet chin, side to side.
you lied.
but the winces of those around,
these are simply tips
properly vetted.

they don’t unveil a scandal,
but dab with a tough cotton swab.

everyone cowers.

banana peels bruised.


Supervised Grocery Shopping

a proper meal
to satiate.

and words of a fullness
we taste in custard.

it’s enough to say “yes”
to unvested kayaking.

rapids, and rocks
to monopolize foam.

with each purchase,
a reluctant revisit.

as tangerines drop
from an overwhelmed bag.

Breakfast With Mom by Nicole Efford

Nicole Efford is a senior at the College of William and Mary, majoring in English and minoring in Creative Writing.


Breakfast with Mom

            Mara cracked two eggs and put bread in the toaster. “Mom,” she said to her mother, who was slumped over the kitchen table, “wake up.” She began to scramble the eggs, mumbling, “I can’t believe this. Couldn’t stay clean for even a week.”

Mara stepped toward the table, “Mom, get up.” She shook her mother, then took her cold hand. “Mom?”

Her mother’s ghost sat next to her body. “I was so unhappy, you had to understand,” the ghost said. Mara couldn’t hear her. Her mother’s ghost tried to wipe away her daughter’s tears, but they couldn’t feel each other.

The toaster popped up.

We Are Romanovs by Mir-Yashar Seyedbagheri

Mir-Yashar is a graduate of Colorado State University’s MFA program in fiction. He is the recipient of two Honorable Mentions from Glimmer Train and has had work nominated for The Best Small Fictions. A self-proclaimed Big Lebowski devotee, he lives in Fort Collins and loves White Russians and listening to Tchaikovsky.


We Are Romanovs

My older sister Nancy and I declared ourselves Romanovs after Dad’s constant berating. I was too much of a dreamer, she was too much of a smart-aleck, foul-mouthed. We looked uncannily like Mother. Of course, Dad was a foul-mouthed drunk, a failed actor.

We became Romanovs, comported ourselves with grace. We confiscated Dad’s beer, issued edicts to Dad. Edicts demanding respect, to be addressed as “your imperial highnesses.”

The result? More yelling, but beneath it, fatherly bewilderment.

We played Romanovs in school, people laughed, pointed. We held onto power with a fervency we’d never imagined, heads high, smiles conveying victory.

Two by E. Martin Pederson

E. Martin Pedersen, originally from San Francisco, has lived in eastern Sicily for over 35 years. He teaches English at the local university. His poetry has appeared in Ink Sweat & Tears, Muddy River Poetry Review, Oddville, Former People, Trop Magazine and others. Martin is an alum of the Squaw Valley Community of Writers.


Nudists

I had to wait until my father died
and mother’s jigsaw puzzle pieces
to discuss what to do with the trailer
oh yeah, that old trailer
that they used to use summers
at some campground in Oregon
I’d never been or paid attention
then it came out that it’s a nudist camp
my parents have been visiting for 30 years
I never noticed or they never told me
or they told me indirectly but I didn’t hear

oh, to imagine
my parents, male and female
volleyball and ping pong.


Nausea of Numbers

Go to a baseball game
or watch people at an airport
a county fair
the mall on Saturday
Lots of beauties, huh?
prettier than the actors we crave
Some look like friends who are dead
Some like lovers lost but not forgotten
like people in a mosque
You’ll never see them again
They gorge your visual memory
then pass on forever gone
Leaving the nausea of numbers.

September 2, 2005 by Emily Stephan

Emily Stephan is a freelance writer and educator who reads too many books and watches too many movies. Her fiction and poetry have been published by Z Publishing House, Cheap Pop, and the Manchac Review. She is also a regular contributor to the Ultimate Action Movie Club website.


September 2, 2005

I remember trees, glass, streetlights littering the roads,
the grass turned to mud, “looters will be shot” cardboard signs
tacked to the front of Mr. Palmer’s house, the roof caved in,
an evergreen prostrate across the upstairs bedroom

I remember the queasy silence in the car,
the unbearable stretch from Baton Rouge to back home,
mama fiddling with her rosary, daddy’s knuckles white on the wheel,
the awful question hanging in the air, left unspoken

I remember us screeching to a halt in front of the house—
our great pine tree toppled across the lawn,
just skimming the siding, crushing the azalea beds,
a few brown shingles scattered atop the monstrous foliage

I remember the first time I ever saw mama cry, hands hiding her face,
and daddy bowing his head, relieved exhalation deflating his body,
myself shocked at the spectacle of their catharsis,
the final confirmation that grown-ups could be afraid

Ogre by Suzanne Verrall

Suzanne Verrall lives in Adelaide, Australia. Her flash fiction, essays and poetry appear in Atlas and Alice, Monkeybicycle, Archer Magazine, Lip Magazine, Poetry NZ Yearbook, Australian Poetry Journal, and others.      www.suzanneverrall.com


Ogre

The ogre lived in the dense damp core of the forest. His treasures – the sheep with their self-spinning fleeces, the unsnuffling pigs – were born and grew and died as they had for all memory. Only the ogre had no beginning or end.

A silver-skinned princess stumbled into the forest. She wore a look of terror as if having woken to find herself blind.

The ogre smelt her. He lumbered through the forest, crushing wildflowers in his haste to glimpse her amongst the green-black shadows.

Day and night he watched her scavenging for berries, sipping dew from bladed grass. He fell in love. She became more beautiful and his love grew until it reached the last unvisited corner of his mighty ogre heart.

At which time he took the princess in his trunk-like arms and squeezed every last drop of life from her.

It was what was expected of him.

Empty Rebus by J H Martin

J H Martin is from London, England but has no fixed abode. His writing has appeared in a number of places in Asia, Europe and the Americas.

Website: acoatforamonkey.wordpress.com
Instagram: @acoatforamonkey


Empty Rebus

I need to get my self
Back in line
Before it all gets out of hand

The reminiscing – the highs
The whatever – the when

These two flows
From one source
Which I am too foolish
To even recognise

This fire escape door
Which I can keep on pulling
But I am too blind to push

Tangled up
By convoluted nuance
And constricted by
This recurring imagery
I always
Overcomplicate the meaning
Only then to simplify

Just as front follows back
And short measures long
I am nothing more
Than this dull mid-June day
And this battered notebook

Of course – just by saying that
Makes these dumb words
Turn back in on themselves
To May and then April and then on
Back to the point

Come on fool – shut up
I am sick of the drifting
From that point to this and then back to there
All I want is to stop
All these dreams of yesterday’s world

So come on fool – shut up
Sit down and be still
Just let it all
Solve its own undisturbed mystery