The Gifts by Hannah Pelletier

15Hannah Pelletier studied English at the University of New Hampshire where she received the Richard M. Ford writing award two years in a row. Her work has been published in The Paragon Journal, Split Rock Review, Remembered Arts Journal, Thin Air Mag and more. Hannah is a 24 year old expat currently living in Paris.


Premonitions

I don’t think our end will
be particularly loud.

Even a cough is enough
to make the roof of this home

without hesitation,
collapse. So.

I fix you up,
as bad as I can.

But you don’t stay broken,
the only way I can

love you. Like a bird in the dirt,
with his belly up.

At the end, all the doors
are opened again.

And the both of us,

stepping backwards and
alone

through each one,
are not scared when they

close behind separate rooms—


First Love

You appear in the dream
like a knife—

descending slowly &
somehow holding

quietness at
your shoulders

(on the outside,
lightness is already
a blanket) but

I come to you
quietness & all

nine years later a
face—

nine years of
your silent hands,

of satellites, water
on rooftops,

rain dripping all over
the white floors
of it

& then:
morning  


The Reappearance

Woke me up
in the middle of

the dream
about looking

for
water in a dark garden.

You, whose name

cannot sit still
in a sentence,

already feels written
on the back of my hand.

Like needing to
to violently

slam the door
shut,

but stay
behind

in the room with you.


Vows

I didn’t speak a single word:

simply freed
a ribbon

tied from me
to the others,

sweetly, but forever—

I took back every gift I
had ever given

without anyone noticing.

And you, looking so
honorable

standing beside

all of the remains
I have dragged

inside our home,
take your turn.